Becoming

I declared Becoming in January, the way the tradition works now, then spent the year watching what the word would do about it. It did plenty.

February came first: Chinggay and I released the NoFilter LOVE deck. Making decks with her is one of my favorite kinds of work, and this one arrived right on time for its name.

Then the stage. In July I joined my first Stellar Student Showcase, onstage, in front of actual people. It turned out to be my only one as a student. Every showcase after this, I’d be on the teacher side, which is its own kind of becoming.

That teaching part happened fast. CD, my go-to Polecats teacher for my videos, asked why I don’t submit the routine we were filming for my birthday to a virtual pole competition. I’d been making these videos for a few birthdays, just for me. I said yes before I could overthink it. I’d also signed up for IQP, the instructor qualification program, which ran across two weekends. So one week this year went: training weekend, competition video midweek, training weekend, and by my actual birthday I was sick in bed. A reasonable person would have staggered all that.

The video placed second. Silver. Second place and I have history, which is a story for another entry, so I’ll leave it at this: it was a good silver. Later in the year, the organization named me a finalist for amateur of the year across all its competitions that season, a sentence I would not have believed in January.

What I actually learned this year is about staying. What kept me in pole as a beginner was that things came easy. What kept me at intermediate was that the challenge was always there. The ease got me in the door. The challenge is why I’m still in the building.

Becoming was the right word. I picked it before I knew what the year had planned, and the year spent twelve months answering it. I don’t know the finished version of whoever I’m becoming. She seems to be on schedule.